He needed to be kind and gentle and extremely entertaining.
He needed to be able to play at least guitar and piano, oh and sing.
He needed to be athletic and love sports, (because let’s be honest, I will not add that to the gene pool of my babies.)
Preferably he needed to like soccer because I would stress too much with football and ain’t nobody got time for baseball, unless there is loads of cotton candy.
He needed to love his family and mine and want little mini people one day.
He needed to be dark and handsome because mixed babies.
He needed to speak another language, at least one, preferably spanish because I’m practical in my dream world and spanish is super useful.
He needed to be able to lead me and love me and show me a whole lot of grace and Jesus.
This was my list, or at least part of my list that was a mile long and detailed the man I wanted to love me one day. He was my dream, and while I constantly settled on many of those points with boys that came and went, deep down I knew what I wanted.
But he didn’t exist right?
Because the boys around me where bits and pieces of those things, but never it all.
I started by settling on the little things, because I could compromise and those things might not be thaaaaat important.
But my options seemed limited, so I increased my pool of possibilities by decreasing my standards and shortening the list that my naive heart created as a child.
My standards decreased and the games increased because now I was surrounded by people I didn’t want to love me, but who gave me the attention that I couldn't find from my dream of a man I hadn’t yet found.
Deep down I knew better than to allow these people to tell me my worth, because my sweet dad taught me differently by proving it in his love.
But kind men like my dad did not seem to give me a second look, so I looked elsewhere.
Then someone asked me something that stopped me in the middle of my path.
"Are you the kind of girl that that kind of guy is looking for?"
Because he is looking too and wanting his dream of a girl.
Deep down I might be it, but on the surface I look a lot more like what the boys around me told me I should be and a lot less like my dream’s dream.
So I pulled back out my naive list and became more of who that man deserved. The pool of possibilities got significantly smaller, until there was just one left.
So I married him.
All but one of my dreams were checked, and even though my dream of mixed babies might not come through him, adoption is always an option.